PenPenWrites

parenting blog, memoir notes, family punchlines & more

Category: gift giving

Holidays with Grown Children: Do we expect them to buy us holiday gifts?

12/22/2021

Once again, Philip Galanes of Social Qs comes through with an answer to a question that may plague some of us as we navigate the gifting side of the holidays: Is gift-giving a one-way street? Here's the dilemma a reader posed: We have a loving relationship with our 30-year-old son. As we prepare for Christmas,…
Legacy Planning: How to apportion the non-monetary stuff

10/05/2021

Our treasured goods may be stuffed in boxes under our beds, sitting in clear view on our coffee tables or hanging prominently on our walls. Aside from whether or not our kids will want the stuff, the question is how to apportion the bits and pieces that we've accumulated over our lifetimes and, for some…
Money Matters: When sibling rivalry crosses the helping hand

09/21/2021

Many of us take great pleasure in helping out our children financially. If we have the wherewithal we're likely to help them with a downpayment to buy a house. (Roughly 20 percent of U.S. homeowners received gifts or loans to help them buy a home, according to Money Magazine, and most of that money came…
Gifts to Adult Children: No strings attached, please.

08/17/2021

I don't have many rules in my life, but one "good deed" I live by is this: When I give my children or grandchildren a gift, I attach no strings. No rules about how the gift–be it financial, a tangible good or a service–should be used. If I don't trust them to use the gift…
Post Pandemic Issues: Can we close our helping hand to our non-vaxxed kids

07/27/2021

The country is riven by the vaccinated versus anti-vaxxers. Infection rates are escalating among the unvaccinated. That's allowing new, virulent variants to thrive, threatening our health and the return to normal, whatever that may be. What happens when the unvaxxed hits home, when it's not the rogue uncle or distant cousin but your adult child…
Anger Provocateurs: When relatives play favorites with our adult children.

06/01/2021

Hell hath no fury like a parent whose child has been treated unfairly by others. Or whose close relative favors one of their children over another. A wave of inchoate anger rises even when the children are adults and making their way in the world. A Social Qs column churned up this barrel of hurt.…
Leaving a Legacy: A push to get our storytelling act together

05/11/2021

I have been working on a memoir for several years–writing sections, taking breaks, losing heart, returning to the work. Anyone who's tried crafting anything personal knows what I'm talking about: So easy to lose confidence and stall out. The memoir is about my career–a legacy for my grandkids so they can know the times and…
Thank You Notes: Why grown and grandkids fail to show their appreciation for gifts we give them.

08/25/2020

I sympathize with the frustration: We send our grown kids and grandkids gifts and we get nothing tangible in return–not a word of thanks, no less an "I love it!" It may be that in these days of social distancing from our loved ones, the need to hear a thanks looms even larger. Pandemic or…
Gifts to a Grown Child’s Loved One: Can we take them back when they leave the family?

08/03/2020

In the best of all possible worlds, we give our children gifts freely. We attach no strings–unless there's good cause and that, of course, is not the best of all possible worlds. We may be willing to loan/gift our child money to help them keep up on mortgage payments or add an addition to the…
Grandparenting: The “Thank You Note” rears its head. With consequences.

07/13/2020

A reader has been in touch about the "thank you" note issue, especially as it pertains to grandchildren and more especially to older grandchildren who may be gifted with a check on a birthday or during the Holidays. It is not surprising that the issue would rear its head again since, in these days of…

PenPenWrites

recent posts

recent posts

Category: gift giving

Holidays with Grown Children: Do we expect them to buy us holiday gifts?

Money Matters: When sibling rivalry crosses the helping hand

Gifts to Adult Children: No strings attached, please.

Post Pandemic Issues: Can we close our helping hand to our non-vaxxed kids

Leaving a Legacy: A push to get our storytelling act together

Grandparenting: The “Thank You Note” rears its head. With consequences.