PenPenWrites

parenting blog, memoir notes, family punchlines & more

© Penelope Lemov and Parenting Grown Children, 2025. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given.

© Penelope Lemov and Parenting Grown Children, 2025. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given.

Talking

When our children were young we were on the frontlines: Hyper-vigilant when it came to keeping them safe and confrontational when we feared others posed a threat. Even as our children grow into young adults, we have our super-protective swords at the ready.

But it's time to back off. At least that's what Philip Galanes in his Social Qs column advised a distraught mother. The column's headline and deck spells out her dilemma:

My Ex Risked Our Daughter’s Health for … a Photo Op?

A reader asks for permission to scold her former husband (and his current wife).

Galanes did not go down the scold road. (The dad behaved badly: He took his asthmatic daughter on a vigorous hiking vacation without telling her that's where they were going; the daughter became ill.) What Galanes advised the mom applies not only to her situation but is a reminder to all of us:

Your role is to prepare your daughter for the world, not to fight her battles for her.

 

 

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One response to “Observation: Philip Galanes on our role as parents.”

  1. Marsha Avatar

    I stumbled on your blog recently and just want to say how wise and helpful I find it. Also, since the comments are closed on your downsizing posts, want to add that they’ve been particularly useful. We, too, are moving from a house to a two bedroom condo in the heart of the city. Your approach to keeping//not keeping publications in which you were published really resonates.

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