PenPenWrites

She's a doctor; he's a lawyer. They've both done very well–financially and otherwise. Their only child–a son–has taken a different road. He's living his dream career: he's a firefighter, studying to be an emergency medical technician.

I've never heard the parents complain about his life choice–except when their son was called up during the war in Iraq. Since they've got more money then they need to live on–and to finance retirement–they've been giving their son a portion of his inheritance every year–the maximum they can give without incurring tax penalties under gift tax laws. Currently, that's $12,000 from her; $12,000 from him. 

"He relies on that $24,000. He factors it into his budget," she says. They don't give it to him in one lump sum at any particular time. They send checks and he keeps tabs on what's come in. And when he needs money for something–he lives on a farm and recently wanted money to build a small auxiliary barn–he can call up and tell his parents what he wants or needs and why he'd like an advance.

Apart from the requests, do they keep an eye on how he's using the money. Not really but sort of. "I wouldn't want him to use it for something frivolous–in his case, another antique gun for his collection. But he pretty much spends it on legitimate living expenses."

Her point is not to approve or disapprove of his spending. Rather, she wants him to know how much he can depend on so he can plan and budget for it. She'd rather do it that way then just send the odd gift here and there–as many of us do. This lets him make rational decisions about his personal budget. And it gives the parents the pleasure of knowing they're providing a cushion that let's him pursue the livelihood that makes him happy–regardless of how much it pays.