PenPenWrites

When our kids are planning to visit us–be it to drop by for an hour or to come home for a weekend–we’re usually alive with anticipation. Ah, the the joy and positive energy a visit brings. The question is, are they feeling as positive as we are?
Yes, they are! That is, they share in the delight of a visit when we set the right mood and tone. That’s the gist of a column I came across headlined with these practical words: 7 things older parents can do that make their adult children enjoy visiting them. Cuts right to the point, doesn’t it. It’s up to us to make it work..

Here’s a summary of the seven points. No one–least of all me–says all of them are easy to execute, but we can try:

• Be welcoming: Keep things light and warm. Don’t let irritants rise up and dominate the conversation.
• Cross no boundaries: If they want to talk about something deeply personal, they’ll let you know. Don’t be the one to bring up their touchy subject.
• Tell family stories: It’s fun to share anecdotes about the family and their childhood but they should be fun stories you can all laugh about, not stories that double as lectures or could embarrass them.
• LIttle things mean a lot: Have small things on hand that remind them how welcome they are–be it a snack or a favorite pillow.
• Be an engaged listener: Pay attention to whatever it is they’re talking about–even if you’ve heard it before and even if the dog is asking for attention.
• Stay away from old arguments: Social visits are not a time for conflict resolution.
• “Let them know you’re happy to see them: “I’m so glad you’re here.” Saying that goes a long way in setting a comfortable and comforting tone.

Painting: Renoir, The Boating Party.