When our kids were young, we were their problem solvers. It came with the parenting territory. We had to keep them safe, help them understand how the world works and show them how to move toward independence.
Now that our kids are adults, does that territory need to be trimmed?
That's an issue parenting coach and Washington Post columnist Meghan Leahy addressed in this Q and A session.
"Back out and be supportive."I would ask on the phone, "Would you like my advice or would you like me to listen?"
You could say, "I have noticed, Amira, that you've disliked this job for a while…what is standing in the way of changing that?" And then see what she says.
Otherwise, keep saying, "I trust that if and when you need support making a change, you will do it. I am here for you, no matter what. I love you."
Then, keep your boundaries.
That last line may be the most challenging. But what Meghan is telling us is this: We're no longer in charge of solving our grown children's problems. Our job is to be good listeners and, if the opportunity seems right, make observations.
painting: Picasso
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