Aside from our promises to ourselves to shape up (exercise more, eat smarter) and spread joy (smile more), there are some New Years resolutions we can make vis a vis our role as parents of adult children. I've borrowed the suggestions below from an impeccable source: Carl Pickhardt who writes about parenting adolescents for Psychology Today. From his list of "beneficial efforts" parents and adolescents can make with themselves and each other, some seem right on for those of us whose children are in the post-grad world or moving even further along the maturity path.
You can read all 23 of his resolutions here. I've cherry picked six that seem just right for parents of grown children. (Some of them reflect the ideals in my Notes to Self, which you can check out in the list in the left column.)
–GIVE A LISTEN. The gift of listening is letting someone know they’re worth your time and undivided attention and are not alone. HEAR WHAT THE OTHER PERSON HAS TO SAY.
–CHECK SUPPOSITIONS OUT. False assumptions about what each other may be thinking, feeling, or intending can lead to serious misunderstandings. BEFORE REACTING, ASK WHAT IS GOING ON.
–BE CONTENT. Go after what you want if that is what you want, but don’t make getting all you want a condition for feeling happy. FOR EVERYONE, SOME HAS TO BE ENOUGH.
–GO WITH THE FLOW. If you can’t alter events or circumstances you wish were not so, learn to live with what you’ve got and make the best of it you can. ADAPT TO WHAT YOU CANNOT CHANGE.
— MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS. Unless the other person is harming themselves or you or someone else, are ignorant of consequences their choices bring, or want help, don’t interfere. LET EACH OTHER BE.
–FORGIVE. Holding on to anger toward yourself or others is punishing to do. Relieve the burden of guilt or resentment with forgiveness. LET HARD FEELINGS GO.
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