I love Miss Manners–her delicious wit and snarky asides that stay just this side of mannerly. Mostly, though, I feel the etiquette expert is on our side. In her everyday life as Judith Martin, she is, after all, the parent of grown children.
One of her recent brief but pertinent sallies addresses the issue of a grown child's wedding: How much control do we have over the celebratory reception, given that we may be footing the bill? The question put by the parent goes directly to the point: "If I am paying for my daughter's wedding, do I have input on the guest list?"
Miss Manners replies: "That privilege is not for sale, as Miss Manners gathers you seem to believe. However, it does come free with the position of being your daughter's parent."
I believe that says it all in terms of how much pressure we are allowed to exert on the number of aunts, uncles and cousins (by the dozens) we insist be invited to attend. Caveat parenter.
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