PenPenWrites

A recent online Forbes story  talked about charisma–who's got it (Steve Jobs, Marilyn Monroe) and whether it's teachable. (Reader alert: if I may have a wee bragging moment, it is teachable, and this writer's son was mentioned by the Forbes author as one who teaches it to teachers.) The author went on to posit why charisma is needed at home and whether there are pointers on charisma that we, as heads of families, can use to our advantage. "Something as elusive as a winning smile or a commanding gesture now can be broken down, frame by frame, into a series of smaller actions. Identify them, tag them — and presto: what once seemed mysterious starts becoming amazingly straightforward to emulate," the author writes.

Then he applies the lessons to the home front–based on an interview with Olivia Fox Cabane, author of The Charisma Myth: How Anyone Can Master the Art and Science of Personal Magentism. He asked Cabane to help him fix what he called his latest charisma problem. "At a recent weekend brunch, a child had interrupted me in the midst of a grownups’ discussion. Even though I was seated at the head of the table, everyone turned to let the youngster take command of the conversation. Help, doctor! How can I repair this dreadful charisma deficit?"

Since all of us with grandchildren have been there–or witnessed the "there"–some of us may take a keen interest in Cabane’s answer. It contained simple, precise advice: Lower the pitch of your voice, take deeper breaths and occupy more space "even if it means puffing out your chest."

The author tried it, with this reported result: "Brunch at our house will never be the same again."

I'm not sure we all want to risk frightening our little Grands or their little guests with puffed out chests and deep voices, but it beats waving a heavy disciplinary hand. And keeps the conversation flowing. A lesson it's healthy for our Grands to learn.