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The economy's been brutal, and especially so on the generation that's just getting started on its careers and on those the next rung or two up. We who have retired or are close to doing so are probably in better shape–despite losses in the 401k. So it's not surprising that a recent poll by Grandparents.com finds we are the well-tapped Bank of Mum and Dad. Three-fifths of 10,000 recently
surveyed grandparents said they have been providing some sort of
financial support to their grown kids and grandkids in the last 12
months.

For some, that helps includes housing: the adult children move back in, some with their kids. Whatever the arrangement, financial advisers say parents need to take steps to protect
their own finances, such as making sure their homeowners and auto insurance will cover the adult children and even grandchildren that are now in residence.

For more tips, check out these ideas from the experts. Here's a shortened form of the tips that go beyond the usual.

Avoid reverting to decades-old
behavior, from when the adult children were still teenagers, when it
comes to bill paying.

As emotional and
relationship issues collide with financial issues, the older parents need to be wise and
cautious. At the same time, they can demand that their adult children share personal
financial information.They don't have to share theirs.

Older parents should try to keep a budget while their adult kids are
back at home so that they can avoid going too heavy on withdrawals from
retirement accounts"Just give
kids a place to stay and help them until they get back on their feet." one expert says. "They just need to have a reasonable lifestyle."

Retirement funds should be kept separate from funds used to run the household.

If you were planning to give gifts anyway, don't be afraid to spend money on them now. It just means you'll leave less in your will or give smaller presents in the future.

While older parents are the executives of the household, rules–about buying food using the phone or computer–should be crafted together.