PenPenWrites

Lucy has three children–all grown and living independently. Two live nearby. One daughter lives far away–in a third-world country where her job is first rate and so are the perks. She has two nannies for two children. So when she came home for a three-week visit–part work, part parental visit–a nanny came with her. Only one of them. The one for the baby. Not the one for the 4-year old.
I tell you all this to tell you what Lucy said when I asked her if having the nanny as part of the entourage made things easier. "No," Lucy says. "She was just another mouth to feed."
Lucy, who's a very energetic person, was exhausted by the visit–even though she does regular duty taking care of her two grandchildren who live nearby.I bumped into her two weeks after her far-away daughter left and she said she was just recovering. And dreading/excited about another visit–the far-away daughter was due to come back for another three-weeker this summer.

What is this all about? Almost everyone I know reports a similar response to a visit from their adult children with grandchildren in tow. It seems it's just as bad even when there's a nanny around to help with the child care, or when the adult children themselves pay full attention to the care and tending of their offspring.

My theory is that it's the change in routine. And the provisioning of the refrigerator and the pulling together of meals three times a day. with special meals that cater to special tastes of very small people. "Why can't he just have cereal for dinner," Lucy asked one evening when her small grandson who lives so far away didn't like what was offered. This did not occur to her daughter. And Lucy's theory on this is that her daughter and her grandchildren are so used to having nannies around to cater to every need, they don't have to make do with cereal. Nor do they insist that what's offered will be eaten. Someone will hop up and boil the pasta and heap on the butter and satisfy the little one's appetite.