PenPenWrites

They're moving home again. Sixty percent of young adults move back home–staying for no one knows how long.  The rules of the house that worked so well when they were youngsters don't quite apply now. So how do you work things out? Do you ask them to pay rent, lay down cleaning and cooking rules? Do you still wash
their socks?

I found some pointers recently on how to manage the move-back so that everyone remains on speaking and civil-living terms. The advice sheet notes that happy “re-filled" families tend to have several things in common. Here they are in brief:

Set limits: Talk about how long the live-in arrangement will be: three weeks, three months, a year? And define mutual expectations for house rules and responsibilities.

Set Goals: Talk frankly about the reasons, financial or
otherwise, behind this new living arrangement, and lay plans for the
transition back to independence.

Discuss Rent: Some families start at one rate. Then, as an incentive for their child
to move out, they raise the monthly rent a predetermined amount as the
months tick by. Others charge rent, but set the money aside and present
it as a nest egg when their child is ready to move on.

Set Chores: Whether it’s in lieu of rent or in addition, include
household chores–making dinner twice a week, for example, buying
groceries, doing laundry or yard work.

Discuss Guests and Booze: It's unrealistic to set curfews
for a fully-grown, independent adult, but you can discuss and
agree on a set of household rules, particularly on
hot-button issues such as late night or overnight guests,
relationships, and alcohol or other substance issues.

Make a Contract: Whatever the plan,
whether it’s rent, chores or household rules, spell it out beforehand and put it in writing.