PenPenWrites

We are not just our parents all over again. We rule. The majority of families in the U.S. today do not have young children at home, according
to a the most recent population survey by the U.S. Census Bureau. Compare that with our parents' generation: In
the early 1960s, almost 60 percent of families had children younger
than 18 living at home; that percentage has now dropped to 46 percent. Go back even further in time: In 1880, 75 percent of
couples in the U.S. had children at home.

The implications for us–we parents of grown children–are enormous. In a recent column, Abigail Trafford looked at the impact of those population stats on marriage. "After the traditional tasks of child-rearing
are completed," she writes, "the main agenda for gray marriage is mutual
satisfaction. Couples who have been together for decades have usually
learned how to resolve conflicts. But that is not enough. What predicts
happiness for older couples is the presence of positive elements: joy,
playfulness, humor, adventure, caring, empathy and common interests."

  I would add to that our relationship with our children who are no longer young or being reared. We still have a relationship with them that can affect, as it did when they lived at home, our marriage [when our kids went off to college, i was struck by how many fewer arguments paterfamilias and I had] and our sense of well-being. There's an old aphorism: "You're only as happy as your unhappiest child." And that still holds true, even when they've moved out and on with their lives. Given the longevity stats that are in our favor, we will probably get to "enjoy" those grown children longer than our parents got to "enjoy" us.