PenPenWrites

Those of us who have children living in other parts of the world–another country, another state–rub up against a special dilemma: Remembering that it's their home, not ours; that they set the "good housekeeping" rules. It's not easy since we make our presence felt whether we try to be low key or not.  Here are some highlights from an Ask Amy column that deals with the way at least one grown child views the visit.

"It is a very stressful time for me. They are not particularly good house guests"
"I find myself overly stressed and wishing the visit would end."
"I've thought that things might be better if they could stay at a hotel when they come. My mother thinks this is unheard of and I’m a horrible daughter for thinking of such a thing."

Ooooph. A pretty harsh view–and this is from a daughter who admits to loving her parents and wanting them to come visit. Personally, I always opt for the hotel alternative when possible. It's a real stress-breaker–for everyone, and that includes me. And you? What do you do to make multi-overnights more comfortable for everyone? Or don't you think there's a problem?

Meanwhile, here are some highlights from Amy's answer:

 "Tell your parents that while you love them dearly, you feel more at ease when you can manage your routine without needing to accommodate every minute of their routine."
"After you tell them, if they lay on the guilt trip, resist feeling guilty or apologetic. If they decide not to visit, resist feeling guilty or apologetic. Continue to be as loving and caring as you have in the past "