PenPenWrites

Here’s an interesting discussion about the pain a father feels about his daughter’s boyfriend. She’s moved back home and is involved with a man the father does not like. He sees the relationship as dysfunctional and possibly abusive.How hands-off should he be? What to do when your daughter is involved in a bad relationship that could either scar her emotionally or lead to a bad marriage.
Here’s an edited version of what the “expert” had to say.

First, our grown children are responsible for their own lives. While it is easy for us to look over their shoulders and second-guess their choices, they are the ones responsible for their actions. Your daughter may, sadly, need to learn some difficult lessons before letting go of this destructive relationship.

Second, there may be more to your daughter’s relationship than meets the eye. Is it possible that her boyfriend has some wonderful traits that you’re overlooking? 

Third, destructive relationships can be very strong, in a negative way. It may take her hitting some kind of bottom before she lets go of him.

Fourth, since she is in your home, you still can set some limits on her. You have the right to determine such issues as curfew and behavior within the home. You should not be expected to tolerate any abusive behavior that occurs in your home, to you or to your daughter. Should your daughter fail to abide by your boundaries, you may have to ask her to leave.

Finally, don’t underestimate the power of setting a positive example for your daughter. As you exemplify a loving relationship between you and your wife, her mother, you provide a power example that will impact your daughter.